Just let me lie here on the tile

I have the Vividcon DVDs, (WOoooOO!) so at some point this week there will be vid recs. Meanwhile, there is TOO MUCH LIGHT IN THIS BAR. Hee. Seriously, you should download this, especially if you are having a bad Monday. It's a Life on Mars vid, but you don't need to know even that much. Walks! No, wait...swaggers!

And there is a miniature Labyrinth vid in that same post, which you should also download and snicker at. And then kill absolut3destiny for claiming he made the latter in 'a few hours', because OMG. I know how hard it is to make those bloody muppets lip-synch, okay?

Right, Five Things now:

For roo2:


Five ways Iolaus didn't die

1) Out in the East, alone but never alone, Iolaus talked to his ghosts at night, burned paper food for them to eat, and never slept. He was halfway to going crazy when he discovered opium.

If his money hadn't run out, so that he had to beg for a bowl of rice at a certain Shaolin temple, he might have been dreaming still, looking for Ania and the boys in a third-rate Elysium.

2) Shaking, barely able to stand, Iolaus swore a vow to himself: if Hercules died at Vlad's hands, he would torch the castle and walk out, to wait for sunrise.

3) He was still mostly okay after Typhon slapped him heartily on the shoulder, but not after Echidna hugged him hello.

4) He woke up in a field of muddy corpses, yelled until he scared away some bastard trying to cut his amulet off. His head hurt like Tartarus, but he only fell over twice, and his sword still lay in the mud underneath him, so he just picked it up and staggered back to the front of the line, looking for Hercules.

5) By the time he processed the glint of sun on metal, the twanging of strings, he was already moving. Sometimes it was useful, not being so damn tall; the arrows pierced his shoulder instead of Hercules' heart. No matter how much Hercules complained afterwards, Iolaus was happy with the trade.



For spikeface:


Five reasons Ares only wears black leather

1) Red and black always were the colors of war. Ares chose black, and the red started flowing soon enough.

2) In an earlier era, he walked in the skins of slain enemies, and he never really got out of the habit.

3) It felt good, supple and strong, sliding against him like something alive.

4) Once Aphrodite told him to, like, alter his aura, ditch the grody avatar, bro. The skull in the clouds, talking pool of blood stuff impressed the men, but nothing beat walking among them, dressed in armor like theirs, breathing sweat and fear and bloodlust.

5) He didn't want to be mistaken for that pansy-ass God of Love, ever.



For cyloran:


Five (and a half) things Captain Jack can do better than the Doctor

1) Accessorize. Sonic screwdriver indeed.

2) Flirt. Pretty much goes without saying, really. Though the Doctor has shown improvement, after a few of Jack's private lessons.

3) Show someone a good time. Apparently, on her first day in the TARDIS, the Doctor took Rose to see the fiery death of her planet. Typical. Jack prefers champagne, a little mood lighting, and some period-appropriate music.

4) Charm a spaceship into doing his bidding. Jack doesn't even have a hammer on board.

5) Throw his life away. This happens a lot around the Doctor - people die for him, die around him, and on several occasions it's almost been Jack. Never the Doctor.

5 ^1/2) Work a con. At times, though, Jack has doubts about this. The Doctor's "I'm just a bloke with a time machine" impression might just be the biggest con of all.