Just let me lie here on the tile

Today is a frabjumptious day, for it's ltlj's birthday, woohoo!

By way of a birthday present, here's "Clean", a tiny, somewhat slashy Hercules and Iolaus story, rated G. Happy birthday!



Clean

"What is it about the slimy ones?" Iolaus muttered. He wrung out his sodden vest, hung it over a tree branch to dry and waded back into the pool. "Why do they always go for me?"

"Hey, it could have been worse." Hercules lay stretched out on a narrow shelf of limestone, basking in the warm afternoon sun. His annoyingly clean clothes were stacked up beside him, with Iolaus' sword lying on top.

Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Sure. It could have spit up on you. Oh wait, that would have been an improvement."

Hercules failed to rise to the bait. "Well, at least the slime wasn't corrosive. Remember that giant snake, with the--"

"Oh, yeah," Iolaus said, cheered. "I don't think I've ever seen you run so fast."

"I wouldn't have run if all the villagers hadn't come out to watch," Hercules pointed out, lifting his head to glare.

Iolaus waded deeper into the pool. The water was fresh and cold, and tiny fish nibbled at his feet. "Still, you gave those villagers a tale to tell their grandchildren." He grinned. "The Day We Were Mooned By Hercules."

Water fountained up around him; Hercules had thrown a rock, carefully aimed to miss. Iolaus splashed him back, Hercules scrambled away and fell into the pool, and the fight was on.

When Hercules surfaced at last, a water weed draped fetchingly over one shoulder, a giggling Iolaus over the other, the sunlight was slanting low and red.

"Stay here tonight?" Hercules asked, setting Iolaus back on his feet. "We've still got some bread and cheese. Probably stale, though."

"Just as long as it doesn't taste like slime."

Iolaus' clothes were still damp, so he walked around naked while Hercules got dressed and built up a small fire on the stony bank, and then he just kind of forgot to put them back on.

The cheese tasted pretty good, melted over toast, and they had a handful of ripe figs for dessert.

After dinner, Iolaus lay back on his bedroll, listening to the cicadas in the olive trees. The fire warmed him through and through, and he felt lazy and boneless and content.

Hercules came over to sit beside him and pointedly dropped Iolaus' sword by his feet, within easy reach.

"Yeah, yeah," Iolaus said. "I promise I'll defend your honor if any warlords show up during the night. If another slime monster stops by, though, you're on your own." He stretched like a cat, eyes closed.

"You've got fig juice all over you," Hercules said, low and close by. It sounded like he was trying very hard to sound disapproving.

"Oh, yeah?" said Iolaus, and grinned.